I have to admit that I was SO busy raising a toddler (Gauri) that I had absolutely zero time to think about my pregnancy with Neel and about the new baby. When I was pregnant with Gauri, the love hormone oxytocin was hitting me so hard that I was practically swimming in love, I was definitely in love with that baby growing inside me even before seeing that baby. But with Neel, I was always tired and exhausted running after Gauri all day so I didn’t feel that connected initially but when I finally got to hold him (well, its worth mentioning here, when he was born he wouldn’t let go of the umbilical cord, he was holding it real tight) , my brain finally broke through the exhaustion and pain of labor and gave me a feeling of euphoria and intense love.
It was like love at first sight! I, once again fell in love like never before. The feeling of adoration hit as soon as I saw Neel. It was like I wasn't even living before I looked at my baby the first time
One thing I realized after giving birth to two wonderful babies is that the bond between parent and child is one of the strongest connections in nature. Romances come and go, but once you've bonded with your baby you're probably hooked for life, and not because you enjoy the prospect of changing thousands of diapers but because the love you feel for your child is the strongest bond, and your child is equally ready to connect with you.
Now that Neel already smiles and coos at me and his eyes follows me even if he is in anybody else’s arms, my heart just fills up with pride and love so intense, that I feel like I am falling in love every day. 
On the other hand I have Gauri, who is not ready to “share” me with anybody – nobody. She is so attached to me that she wants me a 100% of the time. Even at night she wakes up and calls for me Sometimes I feel like she should be able to do her own things or atleast take help from baba or her amma, but when I think about how she feels, I feel like waking her up from her sleep and giving her a big hug and a big kiss and letting her know that she makes me feel VERY SPECIAL.
Both Gauri and Neel have made me realize that I am the most important person for someone and that I am need by them all the time. I cant think of even a single moment that I want to be away from them. I am in love and I am hooked to this feeling for life.
2 comments:
You said it completely! How you describe your feelings during your 2nd pregnancy is a good reminder to remain present so that we don't miss these precious times of our little ones growing up!
I must admit that you're surely one of the most gorgeous and loving mums with equally adorable n gorgeous kids. They're surely so cute...God bless them n touchwood!!!!
Your thoughts expressed in your blog are beautiful. I do feel proud to know you and probably through your blog I've known you more than ever I did at School
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