Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Some days, parenting is… HARD

That was my exhausted thought as I was doing multitasking in my kitchen at the end of the day today. Between trying to check emails, making a list of pending phone calls, expanding my never-ending to-do-list where it feels like nothing ever gets accomplished, preparing dinner for kids and us, cleaning up the living room which looked like a jungle of toys, thinking about how to juggle in Swim classes for the kids…..I was feeling like “I just cant accomplish anything EVER!!”
The whole day had been a battle.
I can’t even remember as I write this what the issues were, but it just seemed like everything was a challenge today.
Maybe it was because I had planned to do many things today but couldn’t get much done from my list of things;
Or maybe it was because Gauri is almost 3.5 and she’s becoming more independent and more verbal. 
My every effort to try to teach her to write, color-within-the-lines, remember her numbers/ alphabets etc are all only making her more rigid.  








Neel’s also getting quite independent and doing the boy things – break stuff, getting into things he shouldn't, pull away Gauri’s toys and most specially her Dolls, and therefore fights between the two ALL-THE-TIME!!
Whatever the reason, I was frustrated this evening and I almost felt like a TOTAL FAILURE at parenting and house-keeping. I have really NEVER felt this way for anything. I have always been a go-getter, on top of everything, leading not following or merely trying to catch up…. But I broke down this evening into tears when I looked around me and all I saw was a mountain of work, Neel Gauri fighting over a doll, Gauri not stopping from putting her hair in her mouth despite of me asking her several times and Neel trying to run away with poop on his bottoms!!

Gosh – I felt SO down and sad and depressed, all I asked for from my hubby  
“can I get just 24 hours to myself to be 24 again”
 as our 10th wedding anniversary gift.  
There is always so much pressure on moms, to teach their kids every possible skill in the world, to take them to million lessons, make sure they are achieving all milestones appropriate for their age and making them smarter, and obedient, and happy and disciplined; cooking the most nutritious meals for the whole family that also taste good and is not boring and repeating, keeping the house like NO-KIDS live in it – how do we do all that and also look good and sound happy at the end of the day when hubby descends from work?
Is it just be who doesn’t know how to make all this work effortlessly or do any of you moms feel the same way?

Well I know I am going to give my kids a nice warm bath and cuddle them in bed to bounce out of it for now!!