That was my exhausted thought as I was doing multitasking in my kitchen at the end of the day today. Between trying to check emails, making a list of pending phone calls, expanding my never-ending to-do-list where it feels like nothing ever gets accomplished, preparing dinner for kids and us, cleaning up the living room which looked like a jungle of toys, thinking about how to juggle in Swim classes for the kids…..I was feeling like “I just cant accomplish anything EVER!!”
The whole day had been a battle.
I can’t even remember as I write this what the issues were, but it just seemed like everything was a challenge today.
Maybe it was because I had planned to do many things today but couldn’t get much done from my list of things;Or maybe it was because Gauri is almost 3.5 and she’s becoming more independent and more verbal.
My every effort to try to teach her to write, color-within-the-lines, remember her numbers/ alphabets etc are all only making her more rigid.
Neel’s also getting quite independent and doing the boy things – break stuff, getting into things he shouldn't, pull away Gauri’s toys and most specially her Dolls, and therefore fights between the two ALL-THE-TIME!!Whatever the reason, I was frustrated this evening and I almost felt like a TOTAL FAILURE at parenting and house-keeping. I have really NEVER felt this way for anything. I have always been a go-getter, on top of everything, leading not following or merely trying to catch up…. But I broke down this evening into tears when I looked around me and all I saw was a mountain of work, Neel Gauri fighting over a doll, Gauri not stopping from putting her hair in her mouth despite of me asking her several times and Neel trying to run away with poop on his bottoms!!
“can I get just 24 hours to myself to be 24 again”
as our 10th wedding anniversary gift.
There is always so much pressure on moms, to teach their kids every possible skill in the world, to take them to million lessons, make sure they are achieving all milestones appropriate for their age and making them smarter, and obedient, and happy and disciplined; cooking the most nutritious meals for the whole family that also taste good and is not boring and repeating, keeping the house like NO-KIDS live in it – how do we do all that and also look good and sound happy at the end of the day when hubby descends from work?
5 comments:
Bounce out of it for sure you must do- you can only do your best, that is all. Give yourself more credit than you are. Moms .... are moms for all the reasons you have listed and some not listed, for the countless times we must get up even in the night for kid duty- for the you name it & I know you know this b/c you are there with those two little, important cuties that are yours- day in and day out. They love you for it, whether they show it or not right now. Tough ages, they are both at- but it will pass and they will grow big and listen and put toys away and do as they need to with their lessons and you will sit one night in quiet and say- wow, where did the time go. You will! I love the pictures of you with the kids. And I still am LOVING your new hair do! We all feel this way Pragati, some days are definitely harder than others- vent to your friends; reach out... let us know when you need a pat to tell you (remind you) you are special and doing your very best. No one said it would be easy, but I wish someone would have clued me in too how tough this job is! The toughest I've ever had. Chin up!!! Love you to & the family. xo
Thanks Pam, for your words of encouragements, for your vote of confidence, for all the "true" things you mentioned that I seems to forget at times.....for you are one mom I look up to and admire always and wonder how you do it all and all by yourself and still put up a smile on your face every single time. I know for sure things are MUCH harder with you guys because of much much going on at your end. Thanks Thanks Thanks.
"look good and sound happy at the end of the day when hubby descends from work?" That has never been on my list,how is he supposed to know waht you're going through if you present a pretty picture,dear?
Your new look is so cool,great hairstyle!
Anytime Pragati- you are the best! Happy Mother's day to one of my most dear friends. xo xo
Thanks Sara - yea the hairdo does make me feel a 'lil better about myself - for a while I had even forgotten that I need to comb, that I need to dress up sometimes, that I can wear makeup that I am still a girl and should do all that cool girly things....
Oh I miss you so much and when we are together I feel like 24 again....watching that matinee show of "the women" with you in OH was so much fun. Let meet again soon.
Lot of love.
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